Saturday, October 20, 2007 | 4:32 AM

of holiday recaps

Saturday: Prayers @ Masjid Keramat, Nenek's house, Damansara Specialist to visit Sara/bring some food for the new parents (i.e. my brother & his wife, who looked.. fatigued, to say the least LOL), Kak Lin's house in Kampung Bharu (where the kuay teow kicked arse), Mak Long Awi's house, Tok Busu's house with Mak Long Awi and her daughter attached. (Total income: RM320. Heh, heh, heh.)

Sunday: Sri Petaling for almost the whole day. Ate more than half of my weight in kuih raya, I think, but burned it all off by helping my aunties and cousins clean up. Pulau relatives came and we all had a lot of fun discussing AF losers. HARDEEHAR

Monday: Openhouse Round I, for family and personal friends.

Tuesday: Went all around Wilayah/Selangor visiting my relatives -well, not really, they were people who helped take care of my dad when he was young while my grandmother went overseas-, most of 'em places I've never been to before this year. Also went for a spontaneous shopping trip to KLCC, where I treated my parents to tea at Dome! *bangga, cheh*

Wednesday: Farah's house for the whole afternoon. Highlights were Fazlan's friends 'bullying' me xD about being his first girlfriend, the spaghetti <3, and playing Twister in Farah's bedroom with Qis, Azwa & Mai while wearing our baju kurungs/kebayas!

Thursday: Ayah took me to One Utama, and because I didn't actually want to buy any clothes, I tentatively suggested that we go watch a movie. We watched The Bourne Ultimatum because I guessed it was the only movie that would keep him awake for more than 20 minutes (what is with parents and sleeping in the cinema anyway?), and guess what? HE WAS AWAKE UNTIL THE ENDING. I'm so proud of you, 'yah! LOLLLL. Then, afterwards, we went for a trip to MPH and ended up buying like a quarter of the photography section. -.-"
List of people I saw:
- Ainaa, Rauuf, Nadia, Hawa. (I first saw them at the cinema, but err ended up finally teguring them at the bookstore, at the manga section. btw, I finally own a Godchild! Swt ^.^)
- Alysha, Adrees. (also at the bookstore, but by the Malay novels section... of course :P)
- Zawir. (I was going up the escalator towards the GSC cinema floor, and he was on the escalator going down.. Damn he's white now haha)
- Raja Daniel, Dzauqi. (They were browsing through the photography section too; but only Dzauqi recognized me)

Then Ainaa said that Athirah, Hakim, Faheem & Adina (and some other people? I can't remember) were in the building too. But we didn't see them. Huh.

Friday: Openhouse II, for ayah's colleagues (meaning both people who work WITH him and FOR him). I was in the middle of my shower when Miss Jeyam (my piano teacher) called and said she wanted to have a lesson, and then I was in the middle of my piano lesson when Azwa & Mai came O_O. I didn't even dry my hair yet! LOL. Then as I was sending my piano teacher out, Ashraf came, followed by Daniel, Faiz & Bob. Aniq came five minutes after that, and Farah and Qis showed up too. Then I was giving all of them a tour of the house when Imran came, and yeah. I can't remember the order of who showed up, so... yeah. Sarah Elise, Sofia, & Nabilah came.. Along with Ida, Ilah & Anis.. Oh, and Fai turned up at nine something with her family. She was like so happy to see all the BB girls xD. Everyone finally left by eleven o'clock. Yeah, at night. Lol. We watched Scary Movie 3 & a lil' bit of White Chicks... Lots of photos. Lots & lots of photos. It's nice being vain when you have equally vain friends. Heh. And, of course, it took a lot of work to make my basement resemble a ROOM again. (No rubbish or anything, just that the pillows were.. all over the place. Haha.)

Saturday: My driver dropped me off at Ida's place at around eleven fifteen, after dropping off my parents at Titiwangsa for my dad's public openhouse thingie. Mukhriz came next, and we were all enjoying Ida's mom's yummy sambal sotong when Imran turned up too, then Anis, and yeah. Wafaa & her sister, Aiman turned up... and Baezil drove! I didn't even know he got his license already! Gahh. We watched Phantom of The Opera in the downstairs general room.. Or at least, they did. Anis & I took our exits halfway through the movie, after all our favourite songs were done. Haha. We finished like half a balang of Ida's lil' sister Ifa's cookies, which is actually:
- Pure melted chocolate
- Koko Crunch. Yeah, the cereal.
You stick the two together, put 'em in little paper cups (like the ones for cupcakes), and let it be in the fridge for like 15 minutes.
And wallaa! You have a cookie that all kids will love and finish a whole container of within half an hour. :3 Went home, Lexiconed for a while before having a lil' bit of rice & fried eggs for dinner, then went out again with my dad to look for DVDs. Ngeee.

Plans for Sunday:
My dad asked for 4 tickets to go to the Motor GP race thing, and then Uncle Mozani (yerr.. Mahathir's son.. lol..) came and delivered 20. Free of charge summore! :O Then my dad said I could have four, since he was giving away ten, and he needed six for the 'us' (my driver and his bodyguard are all going). Luckily I didn't confirm anything with anyone yet because err just now my dad said that the same guy just gave us 2 passes for the Perdana Suite. Which means that if my friends come, I won't exactly be with them because the tickets were for the grandstand. So, yeah. MOTOR GP RACE TOMORROW!

Monday, October 15, 2007 | 9:20 AM

of raya EXHAUSTION

Slept at three; woke at eight; and from 1030 to 1815: handled 13 teenagers from different social groups in one room, with lots of little kiddies running around begging me for another piece on the piano or another bar of chocolate, and my relatives who somehow wanted to know ALL AT THE SAME TIME where I bought my baju raya; 1830 to 1930: had an extremely groggy piano lesson; 1945 to 2100: followed my brother, sister-in-law & baby to visit my paternal grandmother because she couldn't make it for our openhouse today despite being the one who invited the most people!; 2115 to 0005: followed my parents to Fai's grandparent's house in Kampung Bharu where there was this creepy Indon-looking fellow following us to our car but my dad just turned around to look at him and then he walked off.

And I went for all of that running on:
- A bowl of laksa in the morning. 1100
- Lots & lots of those chocolate cornflake things.
- A half-plate of nasi briyani & chicken curry at Fai's house. 2230

My legs hurt..

Saturday, October 13, 2007 | 8:33 AM

of raya tears

I hate looking too old to be given duit raya. >:( It doesn't really matter though, because I still received a total profit of RM320 today. Heh, heh.

Raya morning was ...amazing. I had to wake up at 6:30 to be able to reach my grandmother's house by 7, and from there we went to Masjid Keramat to perform the Aidilfitri prayers. My mom and I almost had a panic attack because it was somewhere in the middle of takbir raya, and Nenek was sitting on the chair (she was performing her prayers while sitting down), and then suddenly she started saying she was dizzy so my mother helped her to sit down with her legs stretched out on the floor and then my grandmother started crying and saying that the room was spinning and she just fell somewhat unconscious as my mom was helping her to lie down. There were all these really nice women who made room for her and didn't complain or give nasty looks AT ALL, just kept asking if there was more they could do. And, I don't know. Their sincerity just touched me beyond belief.

Then, after the prayers were done, everyone was going around doing their salaming rounds, and my grandmother was still lying on the floor, so I sat by her to make sure nobody trampled on her delicate body. I was just watching everyone leave the mosque one by one, and suddenly this woman came up to me and -seeing nenek was 'asleep'- whispered, "Is that Aishah Ghani?" and I nodded yes, and the woman just knelt down, took Nenek's hands and kissed her cheek.

That's how great a woman my grandmother was.

So we were waiting for either my dad or Pak Cik Hashim to show up, because obviously we couldn't carry Nenek to the car by ourselves, when I saw a few extremely elderly ladies, shaking each others hands and hugging each other. The expressions on their faces... I can't describe it. So utterly heartbreaking, so utterly beautiful- that blissful look of gratefulneses and joy that they had lived long enough to celebrate another Aidilfitri. It made me cry, in the midst of everything, because... Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to actually have to THINK about whether you would be alive tomorrow? I mean, every day we make promises like "I'll see you next week" or "I'll do it tomorrow"- so confident that God will give us another chance, extend our life that long. And, today made me realize... One day, chances WILL run out. Life will end, and everything we have done with our lives- the patterns we've painted on the white canvas that God has given us... will finally be put on display. And it made me realize... That if I died tomorrow. I would have pretty much nothing to show.

Great. Am crying again.

There was another lesson I learnt today, but um maybe I should wait until I calm down a little.

Good night people. Have a beautiful raya.

Friday, October 12, 2007 | 9:30 AM

of eleven months & twenty-eight years

Oh. And... In case some "people" start poking me... No, I did not forget today was our eleven-month anniversary. :) I really didn't think it was necessary to mention it since not many people read this blog (I have only myself to blame after my Vox lull), but one of the few people who DO happen to read this is my sister, who, you know, circulates information around the family. :P

I love you. And people can laugh and shake their heads and say "Puppy love is so sweet, isn't it?" and tell us we're too young/naive/stupid/fickle/filled with hormones to know what love is and place bets on how long we're going to last and prepare "I told you so" speeches for our supposedly 'inevitable' break up, but... seriously, I love you. :)

p/s: It was my eldest brother's 28th birthday, yesterday. I'm not going to lie and go all "We're so close we finish each other's sentences all the time" or anything -I think I disliked him immensely at one point of my childhood-, but yeah I just wanted to say that although he reminds me of Adolf Hitler, he is also sometimes my.. motivation, maybe, to keep myself afloat with everything- prefect duties, piano, Japanese, school, relationships, family. The needle that keeps me awake, haha. Plus, I think he is the sibling with the judgement I trust the most, because most of the things he gets angry about is what I get angry about, and whatever he recommends to me (be it books or music or movies) I usually end up liking. And, -God I hate to admit this- most of the things that he DOES rag me about, like my back posture or reading at the table or whatever, are things that I.. kinda find useful, later in life. Fatherhood has mellowed him somewhat though; Adam's a lucky kid. :) Stop, Kak Aida, I can see you laughing right there. Tell him I said this and DIEE okay~

Or at least prepare for your room to be mysteriously trashed >:)

| 8:14 AM

of HAPPINESS

Two words that never fail to excite, amuse, and lift my spirits beyond the fricking blue sky: ESOK RAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Hope everyone lost weight during this wonderful Ramadhan and will gorge themselves full with Raya food this Syawal without regaining it! :D As usual, will miss waking up in the dead of night for a blurry breakfast, and counting down the seconds to the azan Maghrib, and the walking around resisting temptation everywhere at the pasar Ramadhan... And.. Ahh.. SO HYPERRRRRRRRRRR

Screw maturity, Imma gonna go run around the house screaming now :DDD

(p/s: As for a recap of the day, I woke up at eleven, like seriously woke up at eleven because everyone in my household forgot to wake up for sahur. I lazed around watching Potter Puppet Pals (Google 'em! They are the best thing Youtube ever brought to me so far) until about 2.30, when my parents & I left for The Pavilion, which is supposed to be this "fabulous" mall that opened a week ago. Okay la, not too disappointing. Lots of shops, went overboard at Evita Peroni (well, my dad ASKED, "Itu je ke?" okay!) and bought my first ever item from Paul Frank, heh. Then afterwards we went to Sri Petaling to break fast, and as I predicted Mak Long Ah's gorgeous rendang was awaiting me. Heh. Then after my aunties and I stuffed our faces full (my cousin, Nana had already went back to Gemas with her father) with cookies -especially the coffee one that melts in your mouth and has a chocolate chip on top-, my parents & I left for Damansara Specialist, because Sara -my niece- just got readmitted for.. jaundice? Is that how you spell it? Anyhow, only my mom ended up visiting because my sister-in-law wanted to sleep, and my brother needed to go back to his house to freshen up. So, yeah. I reached home, watched Friday Night Lights, heard some voices downstairs and LOL my grandmother and my aunties -from Sri Petaling- were in my living room, waiting for.. lemang.. Uh, it's a complicated story.)

Let me leave you with the sounds of one of the most beautiful things in the world:

Thursday, October 11, 2007 | 11:06 AM

of post-tarawih tea time

Broke fast at Sri Petaling again, borrowed Kak Azah's telekung so I could finally go for my tarawih prayers (it's the final night tonight) and my grandfather's tahlil at the neighborhood surau. Then after it was all done, we came out for tea and kuih, and there were these little boys at the sink, sitting down while washing the dishes. HEH adorable. And, also little boys running around -racing with each other, actually-to see whose plates/cups could be collected. Like, wow. So semangat! I try and picture any of my friends being enthusiastic about collecting and washing dishes... Psfcht. Respect, ladies and gentlemen!

(Not that the said little boys are doing it voluntarily, LOL, I think they receive a small fee from the surau committee members.)

Came up with this a few minutes before we left for Sri Petaling:

It's Chapter 20 from Eclipse. :) Yes, the one I swooned over for... er, still swooning over it actually. Heh.

Aw Edward's having a fan-girl moment. Teehee. One of my favourite quotes from Twilight!

And, in case anyone is wondering, yes I think I've finally come to accept Emily Browning as Bella (replacing the still much beloved Ellen Page). After all, she was suggested on the website... And I do have complete and utter faith in Stephenie! So, yeah. Emily Browning for Bella Swan, everyone! And TOM STURRIDGE FOR EDWARD! (Henrians and Gaspardians can bug off. Lol.)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007 | 4:17 PM

of sleepless nights

So I pulled another all-nighter with Yan last night, because she *finally, cough* managed to scan in her sketches... which I was more than happy to tweak with my Photoshop, uh, needs (for lack of a better word). Not that they needed tweaking or anything, but I was just desperate for some original artwork to play around with. Photo manips only work for so long.

So, the first one is quite possibly my favourite. Colour pencils on black paper.

I think she started this out as a rough sketch on the back of a test paper, eheh.

The chalice was inspired by another Deviant, I think Sentinel's Melody. I didn't really do much with it except play with the saturation & vectorize it.

| 11:30 AM

of newborns.

I don't think anybody can identify who she looks like the most at this time, but wow look at that hair! I can see Kak Lin's cheekbones already. And that little mischievous glint... Well, we can thank my brother for that.

Just offering my official congratulations to my second brother Ahmad Zaki & his lovely wife of two years Elena Ramly for the birth of their first daughter, Sara Alys sa, at 1644 hours on the 9th of October, 2007.

Looking forward to shopping for a girl this time!

| 8:34 AM

of death and life.

It's been a conflicting week or two for the youngest daughter. No, seriously, it has. First off is my sudden lack of kiasuism in the recent finals (which basically fizzed out this afternoon, though it's not yet official).

It's not the same as lack of motivation, I mean, I'm still doing the two-hour-nap-in-the-afternoon-and-no-sleep-at-night study method, and my reference books are still creased from being opened so much, but... I just find myself not quite CARING about the results. Not like I used to.

Like, for once, when I found out that I had made a careless mistake on the Science paper today, I actually laughed. (For people who don't know me that well... This would have made me cry a few years back.) I LAUGHED, PEOPLE. Like making a mistake was something to be amused about.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me finally "settling into myself", finally realizing that I can't beat everyone at everything all the time, and that success doesn't necessarily mean straight A's on a report card or a 94% percentage.

But what if it also means I'm starting to slip? Every day I hear these horror stories about kids who were on top of the world in primary school, but gradually begin to go into the other end in secondary school. Kids who under-estimated the future. It's scary, and it's starting to worry me because the other top students seem to be doing just fine.

Next off, is the recent death of my maternal grandfather. It was three o'clock in the morning and I was still up studying, when I heard the creak of my parents' bedroom door open. I didn't do anything to check it out -my mom would've freaked if she saw I was still awake-, plus I figured it was probably my dad on another one of his midnight escapades (he has a lot of those... Don't ask).

Then, 2 hours later, my sister-in-law woke me up for sahur. I kind of knew something was up already, because normally it's my mother who does that, and she just calls my room extension. So, yeah, we went down and I noticed that the table was set for only two.

I asked my sister-in-law where everyone was, and the minute she answered "Sri Petaling" I knew what had happened. I wasn't really listening to her explanation, just caught a whisper of the words "two a.m." and "breathing dificulties". My brain was too groggy to actually comprehend the truth of the situation, until, um, I was trudging up the stairs and it just... hit me.

My mother had lost her father; my grandmother her husband. The hope of him recovering from the coma, returning back to health, seeing my sister get married, watching Adam grow up... all gone. It's a lot different from when you simply hear about death or see it on TV, because there's no sentimental piano piece playing in the background or close-ups where tears just start pooling in your eyes. It was simply the matter of a soul leaving a body, and never coming back.

I didn't cry, and I was horrified at myself for that.

I couldn't even sum up the proper sadness for the entire day- it was like I was determined to be happy, determined to not let people feel sympathy for me, determined to not let myself feel sorry for me. And I hated how it was so easy for me to dismiss the disaster with an "It's okay", because I couldn't tell if I was saying it to relieve the other person of discomfort or if I was saying it because I was afraid I would break down if I said otherwise or if I was saying it merely because it was the truth: it's okay.

Is it okay for it to be okay?

Then, later on the same day (this happened on the 9th of October), my mom called me to her room and notified me that, on 4:44pm (God's humour?) my second sister-in-law had just safely given birth to a baby girl.

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

~ Al-Fatihah and prayers for my grandfather's soul, please, and good wishes for my 2-day-old niece Sara Alyssa ~